Reflection

It is easy to believe in myself as an artist and mother when things are going well. On the other hand, believing in myself when things are less than stellar takes some effort. As an artist selling solely from online galleries, it is important to consistently produce new work to attract potential buyers and maintain the interest of current collectors/customers. Along with this comes the need to market, market, market...not to mention photographing and editing all new work and listing it for each online gallery.

Now in my former "regular" day job career, all of my work resulted in a steady pay check. Easy, right? We are raised to believe if we work hard and do good work, we can get paid and thus make a living. Naive me, I discovered that it is necessary to change this mentality when self-employed. My own self-discipline and drive to succeed constantly motivates me to work towards my artist goals. When buyers are few and far between, or I've entered juried competitions and my work is not selected, it is a challenge not to turn that energy back on myself and question my choices. Am I any good as an artist? Can I provide for my family doing this full-time? And then the big one...Am I being a good mother if my self-imposed work ethics are compromising my energy to be the parent my son needs?

Each day I contemplate these things, and each day I laugh with my son and try to reflect upon how fortunate I truly am. And then I face the easel again.